Hakushon!

I really hate it when I sneeze like rocket propulsion in the middle of the quiet night. Unlike some people, I can't prevent it sometimes even if I crinkle my nose and hold in my breath. This is quite a problem because if my sneeze awakes my mom, I might receive one hell of a lecture from one hell of a stern disciplinarian AKA mommy for sitting in front of the computer at a time this late, or early... (see post time) Something forbidden like this should be done in secrecy and with absolute silence. Even now when I'm typing, I made sure that I press the keys as gently and quietly as possible whereas on normal circumstances, I wouldn't border being solicitous towards any one of my slaves (keyboard).

Obviously mommy is still happily dreaming about her eldest son's future success (she had been talking and talking about my brother this afternoon so I'm not surprise if she dreams about him) and wasn't disturbed by this time's sneeze. Otherwise I wouldn't be wasting my time ranting about my pathetic fear that no one would give a damn right here right now, silly.

Speaking of which, I shouldn't be here at all. I should be studying like hell like any other responsible SPM 2008 candidate. If not I should be sleeping early and then waking up early to study and study and study as though there's no tomorrow.

14 days left till my eventual death.

Lemang! I choose you!

My two previous ridiculously long entries prove that I'm a lousy blogger who failed at blogging properly like other great bloggers out there. Sometimes I really hate myself for making no sense and being so good at talking rubbish. This is one bad habit I need to change. But throughout my pathetic existence, I have been having problems dealing with my own problems. It has always been a difficulty changing any bad habit. That's why I can proudly exclaim, "I'm already seventeen but I'm still a total bad ass, be very afraid."

Before I go off-topic again like the paragraph I just typed, I'll try to cut short every crap I'm about to crap. And this will be a copycat version of another proper blogger's post; a post with photos; not with boring words only.

My mother would faint if my father brings home a second wife. She would also faint if my brothers bring home daughter-in-laws for her. But she would grow fatter if my father brings fatty food like lemang. In today's case, I'll not only have a fat and not sexy mom, we'll altogether be one big fat happy family who loves fatty food. Prior to Hari Raya (actually we used this as an excuse), my dad paid RM10 to a happy roadside Pak Cik for one big fat bamboo-stick of lemang. Everybody's happy during Lebarans.

The unhealthy food on today's lunch menu:

Lemang, but it was yum-yum.

With traditional rendang:

As if this lemang was not cholesteric enough, we had it with rendang uber high in cholesterol! I just gave away my secret as to why I'm so fat. And the truth is rendang oil tastes the best. There, another reason why I can never lose weight.

Set lunch menu:

For the fear of dying early due to heart attacks, we had green veggie and veggie omelette to cheat our fearful mentalities. These health conscious foods are very important indeed. Although, they are not as demanding as fatty lemang and rendang; we finished the lemang first and touched last the awful green veggie of yuckiness.

Burp.

And finally,

Glutinous rice in stomachs and poor empty hollowed bamboo stick abandoned under the sun. Bamboo cried cruelty!

Happy Hari Raya! =D

Car ride and looking for food

No home cooked dinner. We ended up having McDonald's outside. How:

Papa, mama, annoying brother and I were in good mood because we're all fat and love food and tonight we were eating outside! We seldom go out for food thanks to my mother's paranoia/love so looking for good food with reasonable price is quite a big deal to this family consisting of fussy people (including me).

-In the car-
"Let's have nga choi kai (芽菜雞, Bean Sprouts Chicken) today. Lately I discovered a place famous for this cuisine," dad suggested. Much to the world's surprise, he emitted a very nice aura today.

"Famous? Then the place will be packed full of customers. We'll have to wait long." Mom stated the obvious.

"Argh, nobody here likes waiting. Why not we go McDonald's?" I made a better suggestion in my opinion. Even though my brother remained silent the entire ride, I knew he was all pumped up inside after hearing the magic word 'McDonald's'.

"McDonald's again? Nah. I don't really like burgers. We'll just try our luck. Besides, if there're too many people, we can still go to other places," mom said what I didn't wish to hear.

"But I still prefer McDonald's more than anything," I spoke to myself in a murmur, nobody noticed that I was pouting in the back seat. I love Big Mac too much and am to straight-minded to like trying new things.

-Reached the place-
"Ah, we found this place! But so many people are waiting outside..." Mom sounded a little disappointed.

Suddenly, my eyes were sparkling; too bad it was too dark to perceive anything. "Then let's go to McDonald's!" I quickly added. But I was ignored. Damn it!

"Nevermind. Let's go to Restaurant A instead," dad made another suggestion. (I can't remember the name of that restaurant so I'll call it Restaurant A.) Restaurant A is one of my father's very few favourite dinning places.

-Reached Restaurant A-
"Ai ya. Someone's having a wedding dinner. No wonder, today's a public holiday. So... where shall we go now?" Mom asked after seeing many happy relatives entering the full-of-happy-people restaurant that was doing a wonderful business thanks to one happy newly-wedded couple. Food services were 'invitation only'.

Yes now's my chance! "How about McDonald's now?"

"Guess we have no choice huh," mom finally spoke my language. I rejoiced mentally. Yes!

-Dad started maneuvering the car to position properly in a not familiar parking lot no where near McDonald's-
"Eh?! We're not going to McDonald's?"

"No, didn't I say just now, we're going to eat pork knuckles at this Brewsterhouse Restaurant!" Mom answered, she was so so excited. I was too busy drooling over an imaginary Big Mac to notice that my parents had changed their minds on the way.

So we went inside said restaurant. We were greeted by a waiter and seated. Though at first sight, I already dislike that waiter. I can tell she's the insincerely nice type from her look and speech. Ignore that. The decorations are antique. Nice ol' china encased behind glasses, ancient portraits with crafted wooden frames on wall, even the chairs and tables gave off the decades-ago feel. A typical western restaurant I say. But when we looked at the menu, our eyes were as big and wide as the china plates displayed.

Rice... rice... Japanese... Japanese... noodles... rice... Japanese.....

This is a fucking Japanese restaurant. Dad confronted that waiter with the not-nice-look for confirmation. And yes, for a restaurant named 'BREWSTERHOUSE' in which Brewster is a WESTERN NAME, with WESTERN ARCHITECTURE and WESTERN DECO, they only serve Nippon jin food. No pork knuckles so sorry folks.

Fantastic news to me! I knew what was my parents' next move yet I was compelled by my bitchiness to say:

"Well? Are we going McDonald's or what?"

"McDonald's it is."

While they were talking about how ridiculous the restaurant were, I secretly smirked my smuggest smirk ever.

Note - This event was excessively dramatised. It wasn't possible for me to write out the actual thing because I don't have a video cam's memory and also I'm very good at lying.