Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ants, a girl and a dog

We all know that even if we use a normal plastic clip to seal over the neck of a cereal bag, it doesn't prevent ants from invading and stealing our precious cereal grains. It seems airtight enough to keep the cereals fresh and crunchy but I don't know why the ants in my house are very good at squeezing through the clipped opening as if their bodies are about the sizes of air molecules.

While this mystery remained unraveled, we had come up with a simple solution anyone could figure. We are to put the clipped bag of cereals into another container, preferably Tupperware brand due to it being 100% airtight, and then shut the lid tight. That would definitely take care of our problem with those little deviling bastards.

But we forgot about one important thing - limitation of human intelligence. For this latest bag of cereals opened, someone in my family was wise enough to clip the bag and put it in a rectangular container but was too stupidly wise to close the damn lid properly; one side-corner of the cover was left open for ants to build their very own Immigration and Custom Department. They did. And then, when I went down to have some cereals and milk just now in the dark of the night, the most unfortunate thing happened. My eyes missed sight of the little bastards and their activities because of two reasons. One, the ants camouflaged themselves with the common brown yucky wheat flakes of cereals. Two, I was too busy choosing the white yummy sugary pellets to notice. (Of course, the composition of cereal grains always includes a larger degree of yuckies than yummies, otherwise you wouldn't be calling cereals healthy.)

It was only after I poured the milk into my cup (I eat cereals in a cup) and spotted about 10 or so floating six-legged bastards and even unknowingly savoured few mouth spoons of whatever mixture that I realised the ants' bastardise invasion. So then and there, I uttered a profusion of colourful profanities (the word "bastard" being amongst them) as reflex. But that time my mood wasn't very colourful to take in/out all so I cooled down at a rate faster than usual; anyhow dumped my light meal into Goldie's bowl and called it a day and an eighth (time: 3 hours past midnight). At that moment I was just being stoically bored.

And my Goldie was one happy dog.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Jia Foong will hate me

Tracy SMSed me, "Jiafoong is very sad 2 not see ur sarcastic n annoying face." this evening because I didn't go to people's birthday party. Birthday girls (Jia Foong and Yee San), I give you both permissions to murder me. And even though you might hate me, I wish you a Happy Birthday.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Cbox gone (for good)

The Chat box made my blog look more stupid than it already is. So I came up with this gem of an excuse to make myself sound smarter: The Cbox is an advertisement. I removed it because I wasn't happy about not getting paid for publicising their product. I should write a complaint.

That doesn't sound smart but rather greedy and even more stupid right?

And now lazy assed people who think post commenting is "hard work" can either work their lazy asses harder or easier yet, just shut up.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

New! Profile

There, a stupid profile:
What a lousy profile

Yes I have one! Because... well I have no reason to not have a profile. But it's so embarrassingly stupid so I think I might have to remove it someday. Why can't I ever write a fucking decent profile?

This just proved how bored I am lately.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Oh ou moment

AHHH!! I totally forgot about my father's birthday today! I shouldn't have lost track of time and date; I didn't even realise that this year's a new year already. *sigh* I'm going to feel guilty for a while. But it's still not too late to give my regards even though we are presently in pretty bad terms and I think my existence is my father and men's worst nightmare.

Papa,

Despite your bastard personality and the silent treatments we are giving each other, Happy 52nd Birthday! Man, you've grown old.

I'm not that stupid; I knew my father doesn't read stupid blogs (mine especially). This insincere message is just a pointlessly stupid way to make myself feel less guilty and prove that I [fill in this bracket with a correct verb] for papa but the truth is I'm just cheating myself again. In the end, I wished no "Happy Birthday" to the ever so busy patriarch of the house who I call the ultimate money making machine.

I hate my actions.

Cbox

Scroll down this page. I added a Cbox in the sidebar for no reason whatsoever. But I know my blog has not many visitors so....

I still can't understand why most people prefer the Chat box over post comments.