Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Few seconds without light

Everyday I read fanfictions. Today I read fanfictions. Since I have a one-week holiday, I don't have to worry about looking like panda the next day so I read and read and read until I forgot to eat, drink, pee, sleep, all those voluntary actions and that my name is- what's my name? Sometimes I can't help myself from purposely allowing myself to unconsciously forget everything.

Just as I was about to forget how to even breath, my cheap handphone saved my cheap life by playing my free self-composed crappy ringtone out loud (maximum volume). Of course, I answered the phone to stop the annoying noise from disrupting balance of human life. Unfortunately the subsequent sound received was more annoying; annoying enough to make all my brain cells die of vexation. (Note – My mom and I are hi-spec spec people who use handphones as intercom. We subscribed to Maxis Family Plan so it's free of charge to call. But mainly because I refused to use the house's intercom because I think it's annoying.)

"Dinner's ready," mom nagged vehemently with an auntie's pride. In my opinion, mothers need skill to nag proficiently like real old aunties. A lot of practises are required and they practise on poor husbands and children.

"Oh," I replied monotonically as I hung up. I'm lacking energy because half of my brain cells were dead.

Then and there, quite a few astonishing realisation struck me. The sky was dark, the whole house's first floor was illuminated by only one monitor screen and it was already half past eight. And I felt like shit after spending countless hours reading gay porn literary fictions of exotic genre. Although I love my computer, for the greater love for food, the time to part with my beloved was inevitable. Au revoir, mon amour!

After I'd switched off the monitor, my poor eyes can't detect light and it discreetly cursed my stinginess in saving a pathetic little bit of electricity. Because cheapskate's gene runs strong in the family, I pretended that I can't find the switches to turn the lights on. And also my emotional response to the absence of light is as stoical as a boring rock's reaction, so walking in darkness to me is like staring dumbly at a hamster running in a hamster wheel.

But before I went downstairs for food I had to get my retainer box first. This curse commonly known as wearing and removing retainers when eating is the aftereffect of dental braces. Children, dentists are not that bad compare to orthodontists. Back to the story, retainer box was in my room which is about 7 meters away from standing point next to computer. The surrounding was pitch black. I'm too damn stingy to turn on the damn lights. So my journey in the dark began. Like idiots in drama, I monologued during this pathetic 7-meter journey.

Dramatic soliloquy:
Che. Even though I see no shit, secretly I've a sixth sense so finding my way in the dark is piece of cake. I don't have to rely on light bulbs. I'm not really a fan of Thomas Edison to begin with. Besides, even without sixth sense, my sense of direction at home is awesome because undeniably I'm such a genius and have awesome sensory, short term and long term memories. I would NEVER get lost in my own house. In short, I'm just downright awesome. Not that I'm a narcissist or anything. Narcissists love and brag about their superiorities whereas I only… Okay, maybe I am a narcissist but so what? I'm so smart I don't need approval to brag. Ah ha ha ha! Plus given my remarkably high IQ, philosophical wisdom, calm and composed attitude, admirable dignity, great personality, fantastic-


Ouch! I forgot to leave my room door open for me to not bump silly into it. (Inner self: Yeah some bullshit characteristics you have there.)

No wonder children are afraid of the dark. (Inner self: That's not it. You're just awesomely stupid.)

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Yay! I'd Kanda's favourite food for dinner! No soba though, just the tempura. And my mom made it Malaysian style - with brinjals, cauliflowers and green peas. I was actually hoping for the ingredients to be green capsicum, pumpkin and lotus seed which are Kanda's official very very few likes for your information. In case you're wondering, I'm knowledgeable of this because I memorised every detail of Kanda's profile in D.Gray-man fanbook. My hormones just would not let me leave him alone in peace free from fangirlism. Oh well it's TEMPURA so it does not really matter that much. Happy now ^^

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I want to facepalm

Ah... Biology papers. Damn I was not well-prepared. So many mistakes made. I screwed both paper 1 and 2.

These 2 questions made me look like the most idiotic idiot on Earth.
*cough* mutualism *cough*
Oh fuck. What was I thinking when I was doing this question? The answer is like obviously slapped in front of your face when you stumble upon this kind of question. I knew it was a one-sided beneficial interaction yet I happily circled friggin' A for APALAH!

Q: I'm a what?!
It was only after Tracy had asked her Bio teacher mom that we realised mama Q's genotype cannot be 'aa' because she's healthy and not an albino. I should not have cursed her. It's bad karma to simply assume people's fate. No wonder she has sickly child and grandchild.

Sometimes my half assed wit makes me so fucking 'proud'.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Help please

I think I am going insane. Not the fangirl kind of insane but really really insane as in psychologically challenged this time. I cannot even think anything properly for each second without worrying over something that is actually nothing. I do not know why but I think maybe it is because of exam pressure. I cannot even study last minute with a peaceful mind anymore. It is like the things I read are not forcing into my head the way I wanted. And I feel restless before I go to bed. Why is it happening now? I have never been this stressful in my entire life. What had happened to the carefree-go-lucky old me? This is weird. I am so confused and depressed. I could not relax at all. Maybe I am pushing myself too hard but then again since when have I started pushing myself?! Just now, I tried easing my worries by doing 8 rounds of Sudoku in succession but to an apparent no avail. How the hell am I going to sit for Biology papers tomorrow when I am so not prepared not to mention my mind is in a total mess?

This feeling... It is so painful to want to cry because your pride just would not let you.

Monday, September 15, 2008

A challenge

For a bullshit subject, EST paper 2 was too challenging. One question is so stupid it makes no sense to nonsense.

As I was cracking my quite empty head doing this one shit of a question, I was like 'the fuck' all the time since only swear words is in profusion in said head. No matter how many fucking ways I tried, the values will not add up to 100 percent. Then our school's photostat machine just had to be so awesome and produced award-winning 'excellent quality' copies of test papers until it made me wonder whether children under five get HIV since birth or through having convicted sex themselves. The latter will be the case if HIV is not included in the 23 percent of perinatal factor. Still, included or not included, look at the pie chart carefully, how can 23 percent or 31 percent if the percentages are added up seperately make up such vast section of a 360 degree circle. And if you study the question thoroughly like what I did by scribbling crap, it can be concluded that this question is too wrong to be wrong.

Also one not stupid question proved my suckiness in vocabulary to be valid and worrisome. It asked for the synonym of 'chronic' and I half-assedly answered with 'critical' when the true answer is 'recurrent'. I realised my mistake only after Jamie pointed this question out to Mr. Cheang, who answered it correctly without much thinking at all. Damn! Even he is better than me. How great.....

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Friedman lol'd from up there

I'm blur oh so blur. I used a bendy straw upside down (the top bendable part at bottom) to drink homemade coffee slushie. Better yet, I only realised it after I had finished drinking the whole damn thing.

P.S. Joseph B. Friedman was that wise ass who invented bendy straw. He kicked the bucket long ago.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Scientific discovery

I spotted an albino mosquito flying in front of my bathroom's mirror! Its extraordinary beauty was definitely not a deceptive façade foisted by mere reflection of the fluorescent tube's luminescence on an invertebrate's chitin. Although albinoism is deemed by researchers as a form of congenital disorder that deserves uttermost compassion from the world, this mosquito's spendid rarity had trounced all assumptions of helplessness. Flying elegantly with a cheery buzz barely audible to the human ears, with the mirror doubling its presence and dance of magnificent display, it was as formidable as God's genius masterpiece. A vivid impression was thus created. And imprinted in the observer's memory just in time before its flight of serenity was snatched away by an ever so familiar strike of two palms against one another.

Thermometer's sensitivity

I am so disappointed. Seriously adults just do not understand when to and when not to joke. Apperently I offended one elder with this little shit I wrote -

"Um.. in my opinion it's just like some method to cheat little kids into actually liking maths. Since the title of the clip tells us that it's how chinese multiply, it's most likely this case. Because thru' childhood experience, I learnt that chinese adults are very creative wehn it comes to bluffing children into doing something they dislike (e.g. bribing with foods, sweets and other cheap stuff for innocent children). To parents, don't deny it, all know it's true =)"

Nobody told me I would make parents of the world my enemy by presenting my point of view like that? Did I even mention that parents are no-good? Why must some people be so sensitive? For your information, all my life I have been talking worst behind your backs. It is a mystery as to why adults are so different from us even though they had the same experience of what we are going through now. Of course I would most likely get a positive feedback rather than a negative one if the recipient is of my age and understands me. Then I will not have to waste 15 minutes preparing a tiresome explanation which I hate writing. Because I feared disgracing my good old papa and mama and they would be like all emo and come after my ass. It is never their fault I am evil, I am just too smart for them. Anyway, I guess the mutual understanding does not really exist between adults and us. That is why I try so hard avoiding conversations with adults till the point of being labelled as unsocial and bitchy. However, I learnt another lesson today - always remember to switch to the serious-and-not-talking-rubbish mode when backchatting replying adults. And also I should not bully parents because they were once sexy and desirable but had lost their youth upon time and such sad cases need pity instead.

Friday, September 12, 2008

DGM episode 100

Yay Massacre! Strangely (and so fake), the supposedly red blood spilled is as dark as black colour. Come on, just because the blood in manga is spattered with ink does not mean it is really ink! Animators use some brains will ya. Nevertheless, the anime is still awesome! I love a martyred Allen. The level 4 akuma disturbingly reminds me of Qi Yen. Both share the same squeaky voice. Both display the same perkiness. The akuma has pixie wings which are so happen to be Qi Yen's favourite fancy reference. And I am positive that they are as alike as twins in appearance. Scary indeed.

Lenalee owns the next episode and will most definitely spam it with mary-sue-ism so most likely I will be skipping it. It is a good thing too since I desperately need to concentrate on my science subjects - to compensate for my failure in previously tested subjects. I only want to see more smexy Kanda in action and that infamous afterward OT3 scene from manga. Fufufu XD. Besides, I absolutely HATE LENALEE because she cries a lot, flirts a lot and more importantly, is trying to steal moyashi-chan from Kanda-pon. /self-implying

Too bad the anime is ending soon. Geez I was hoping to see the husband-wife fighting scene where Kanda and Allen spar with each other after the destruction arc, Kanda's gay butt and pants, that canon crack filler with chibi!Lavi chibi!Kanda, new uniforms and more Yullen missions. Such high hopes are unrequited. Never ask for too much. <-- lesson learnt from 'The Pearl' :D

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Temporary joy


Sejarah paper 2 was hard like hell and I 'oh shit'-ed at each and every question. Moral was pure torture as it fucking worked my right hand to almost death and wasted one-third of my 'expensive' RM1.20 pen's ink. Although most probably my results for these two subjects in report card would be none other than in 'pretty' red ink, I feel insanely happy that the two most annoying subject tests are over. This morning after I have just completed my answers for the final question in Sejarah (test is still going on), I wanted so much to abruptly jump and scream in sheer happiness. Crazy huh...

And yes it is time to empty all these junky syllabi from my head. Real memory minimum too low. Need to delete some data, so into the tong sampah!! (Rhyming unintended)

Also, I spent about 30 minutes doodling this shitty reminder below before exam. Did it with pride and hopes and even scanned and set this as desktop wallpaper. Sadly, it is completely useless against the ever so lazy me. Procrastination pwns.

The stupid reminder
Posted this in class blog too to share with all those lazy folks out there. Though I have some doubts - people are too busy studying to visit blog; not many/no classmates are/is as lazy as me; my doodle is not worth stealing; my self-torture list is scaring people off; people hate me because I always spam nonsense in class blog.

Since tomorrow we have only one simple Mathematics paper to take, and also because I am feeling kind of lazy right now, D.Gray-man fanfiction here I come! XD

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I suck at writing

Oh god. I am scared. It is disbelieving even to myself but this time the oh-so-great me is really really SCARED! My nerve is dangerously at its shattering point and this newfound skepticism of mine only serves in making matters worse. The desolated world of a burning hell of mine is going to freeze soon.

Today is just the second day of trial exam yet for various reasons I feel tired as if I have aged at least 20 years. Dead wearied physically and mentally.

Reasons that made me an old hag
1) I run out of alcohol to burn at midnight. 17 yearly resolutions made to change the habit of procrastination. All 17 resolutions broke.

2) I forgot to copy my objective answers to the back answer sheet of English paper 2. Curse my blurness! And also sleep deprivation. If I inform Pn. Helena tomorrow, I might be able to prevent the '0/15' from staining my pretty (if you ignore the messy handwriting) test paper.

3) I screwed Sejarah paper 1... because of insufficient supply of C2H5OH. I plan to screw tomorrow's paper 2 too, since I am already half dead might as well be fully dead. That would make life more complete.

4) I regret choosing question 3 for continuous essay writing. This reason emotionally affected the normally reticent me into feeling fear for once in quite some time. I have lost all pride in my writing skill and am really scared of getting low marks for screwing up one section of the test. Writing for that question was fun and all but after taking this decision into thoughtful account, I realised that I had just wrote the most stupid meaningless essay in my life for one most important examination ever. I completely messed up the plot composition in said essay! Not only did I write an inferior climax, my story's ending was so insignificant that I am convinced Pn. Helena would curse 'what the fuck is this shit' when marking this shit of mine. The metaphors I used sound literal even though I tried my best to make it metaphorical. My whole story is crummy and fishy. I am a terrible story liar teller. I utterly failed at writing! Why is it so hard to write this kind of essays when it is so damn easy to write nonsense in blogs? I swear I would never choose story format questions in the future.


I am too depressed to study Sejarah. I wonder how I should die tomorrow....

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Crappy pain after physics tuition

I am 17 and I do not know how to sleep properly. 3 hours of nap time in a what-the-hell sleeping position had caused one fucking appendage - commonly known as my left arm, to hurt like fuck and I cannot help myself from colouring the world with more colourful profanities.

I am so fucked. 5 days left till exam but I can still proudly exclaim, "I had finished reading 4 pages of Form 5 Sejarah text book!" *claps... sarcastically*

I should slit my wrist now.