Monday, August 18, 2008

Versus cockroach

I am adding a new ambition to my already many goals list. One day in the future, while the fucking sun is radiating its fucking happy and oh so carefree ray of sunshine, I will personally subdue all those happy-go-lucky roaches and have them transported to burn in seven depths of hell.

The story of how I came to become an extreme cockroach hater
It was 12 midnight and I went to the kitchen to dig for food. Spotted my prey (chocolate cookies). Then started to savour one piece. Rejoiced mentally for a moment because said cookie was yummy. Took second piece. Ate whole piece in one go this time. While munching with pleasure and damn I was enjoying myself, a small dark-coloured swift-moving mass of life caught my attention. I did not turn the lights on so I could not identify it immediately. At first I thought it was a lizard but a dark-coloured one is actually quite rare in my place. It could be a cockroach but then again, I just moved in and the house is new and clean and all. So far there is no sign of any pest but I could not say it is of zero probability though... Already had that suspicion in mind, I focused my slightly near-sighted eye lenses (was not wearing specs) and HOLY SHIT! That mass was indeed one big fat cockroach! Of course, my first instinct impulse was to send that shit to hell. Without much thought, I grabbed the thermal flask. Opened the cover in less than 2 seconds. Crept stealthily until close enough. And......


Ah hah! A direct and total pwnage! But wait... That shit just fled and vanished in the darkness of under the fridge. It fucking did not die!

Fuck! Why the fuck was it not fucking boiled to its fucking hellish death? Oh! Could it be....

Reasoning skills led me to one indication - which the hot water was not fucking hot! To confirm this judgment, I gestured my hand on top of the flask's opening. And to my horror, I sensed no steam, but a slight increase in my blood pressure. To support this inference with more concrete evidence, I poured a mini puddle on the table and felt it.


Okay, now to a more intense HORROR, hot water turned out to be COLD WATER! THE HOT WATER WAS FUCKING COLD FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Blood pressure increased drastically. I was officially diagnosed with hypertension.

EEEE!! I felt like ripping out my own hair! I cannot stand that one cockroach survived from my torture-then-kill attempt when I want it dead no matter what and I was even more pissed at the fact that I failed at killing because I stupidly used some fucking cold water to fucking BOIL a goddamned fucking cockroach! So fucking mad was I that I had no mood to blame the person in my damn house responsible for making the damn hot water cold (most likely it was maid's fault... and nature's). Instead, I blamed the world for giving that piece of shit luck to live and reproduce happily while I am wasting my study time virtually cursing it in this blah entry that nobody reads.

This ecstasy of rage made me attacked the cookies excessively, without any pleasure at all this time. No mood for slow and time-wasting savourings. Finished the whole container of one-week lasting cookies. Also, I almost wore my bottom retainer at my upper teeth due to overwhelming anger.

I made a vow on the spot (in the kitchen). One day the world shall be free of nuisance pests so that bad-tempered humanity consists of people such as I could be a little bit more civilised and cease to scare the daylights out of their goody well-mannered decent parents with dirty foul-mouthed indecent language.


The knowledge gained from this incident
Foods are good tension reliever. I stress a lot over trivial and pathetic and useless and almost all matters, no wonder I am only getting fatter and fatter.

Phew. Ranting felt good.

Great. Finally posting a new entry after so soo long but this entry had to be nonsense again. Oh well I doubt anybody would read this anyway.

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