Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I suck at writing

Oh god. I am scared. It is disbelieving even to myself but this time the oh-so-great me is really really SCARED! My nerve is dangerously at its shattering point and this newfound skepticism of mine only serves in making matters worse. The desolated world of a burning hell of mine is going to freeze soon.

Today is just the second day of trial exam yet for various reasons I feel tired as if I have aged at least 20 years. Dead wearied physically and mentally.

Reasons that made me an old hag
1) I run out of alcohol to burn at midnight. 17 yearly resolutions made to change the habit of procrastination. All 17 resolutions broke.

2) I forgot to copy my objective answers to the back answer sheet of English paper 2. Curse my blurness! And also sleep deprivation. If I inform Pn. Helena tomorrow, I might be able to prevent the '0/15' from staining my pretty (if you ignore the messy handwriting) test paper.

3) I screwed Sejarah paper 1... because of insufficient supply of C2H5OH. I plan to screw tomorrow's paper 2 too, since I am already half dead might as well be fully dead. That would make life more complete.

4) I regret choosing question 3 for continuous essay writing. This reason emotionally affected the normally reticent me into feeling fear for once in quite some time. I have lost all pride in my writing skill and am really scared of getting low marks for screwing up one section of the test. Writing for that question was fun and all but after taking this decision into thoughtful account, I realised that I had just wrote the most stupid meaningless essay in my life for one most important examination ever. I completely messed up the plot composition in said essay! Not only did I write an inferior climax, my story's ending was so insignificant that I am convinced Pn. Helena would curse 'what the fuck is this shit' when marking this shit of mine. The metaphors I used sound literal even though I tried my best to make it metaphorical. My whole story is crummy and fishy. I am a terrible story liar teller. I utterly failed at writing! Why is it so hard to write this kind of essays when it is so damn easy to write nonsense in blogs? I swear I would never choose story format questions in the future.


I am too depressed to study Sejarah. I wonder how I should die tomorrow....

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