Kurikulum Pendidikan Pemandu (KPP)

0730 hour
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! (Stupid hand phone ringtone for alarm)

♪ Bangun pagi Gosok gigi Cuci muka Pakai Baju..... ♪

Fuck this song! I hate it because I hate mornings. But I'd no choice. Driving theory test starts at 8:30 AM and my house is located far away from civilisation. .... No I lied; I live in Jelapang which is 20 minutes away from town, only if you speed drive.

La la la I prepared myself. Each person has about 1 hour to complete the test so I thought it'll be fast. And that I don't have to bring a saviour - story book along to combat boredom.

0800 hour
Took off with mom in her car.

0825 hour
Reached Falim (sp?), the place I'll be having driving lessons after I've passed one stupid of a driving test.

0830 hour
Took off with other candidates in a van. Apparently theory tests are held at a different place.

0840 hour
Reached Rilek, the place I'm having the stupid test. Like financial institution, we had to take numbers and wait for our turns to register. My number was 19 by the way. Also it meant that there were 18 people who came earlier than me. 'I can wait I guess,' I thought. 'One person takes about 5 minutes at most, so 18 people will take...' and I started doing math calculations I learnt in primary school SRJK(C) Yuk Choy, Ipoh.

I sat on a blue chair with lots of dirt stains on it; and waited.

Time passed like watching the second hand of a clock ticking. Oops, I forgot that I get bored fast and my patience sucks. *sigh* Oh well, since I spent only like 3 hours reading that driving booklet while watching TotA episode 8 to 10 yesterday (how WTF can I get), I should read that other chiplak RM12.00 book totally made from recycled paper/toilet paper that they freaking forced us to buy.

While reading, I spotted Kay Lynn and Krishan. Actually I realised that they were here too only after they'd spotted and called me first. The irony is... I was too absorbed in reading stupid stuff to notice.

Thus, we waited. I continued reading said stupid stuff.
...
...
Okay I'd finished all 422 questions in that goddamned book.
...
...
Thank god Kay Lynn and Krishan were keeping me company. Otherwise I would have walked up to the person there at the counter and say, "I'm bored. Can I have a blade, preferably a snapped-off blade; any brand will do, to slit my wrist?"

We talked crap loads.
...
...
Alas, I regretted not bringing a story book.
...
...
One person, who was at his limit, approached the person in charge at the counter to ask what their problem for being so slow was. To our astonishment, JPJ's bull shit server was down. Without a server, they couldn't load our registrations and something something we couldn't take the test. In other words, we have to wait longer. *jaw dropped*
...
...
Kay Lynn: Can we go out for lunch?
Krishan: It's not even 12 noon. We'll wait a little longer, then ask the person.
Kay Lynn: Okay.
Me: o.o

1200 hour
-ask ask ask person-
Kay Lynn/Krishan: Still no server. They're having their lunch break at 1 o'clock. So we go out at 1 too.
Me: And we can like invite them, "Jom kita makan bersama,” and be friends and who knows, they might give us some tips for the test.

And we talked more crap and lol'd here lol'd there.

1300 hour
Kay Lynn: Let's get out here.

Kay Lynn, her what-was-his-name friend who at first I thought was her brother, Krishan and me wondered aimlessly around the shop lots below the center. Then, somehow we ended up at McDonalds' since it was nearby and we'd got no other ideas on where to eat besides McDonalds'. Kay Lynn's friend led the way. Among us, he was the only one with some sense of direction.

Reached McDonalds'. Buy fast food fast. Talked more crap. Crossed roads. Walked back to center. Bla Bla Bla.

Event to take note: The drivers on road all failed their driving tests. What happened to "pemandu harus memberi keutamaan kepada penjalan kaki di lalu lintas"? Che..

About 1400 hour
Server was still dead. So we talked crap again. One auntie with whoa...a very sharp voice came in looking for some 'ma lai zhai' and she literally talked life into server. Say, the power of high frequency sound waves!? Or perhaps Sophie's witchcraft (from Howl's Moving Castle the BOOK not Ghibli movie). She joked about it to Kay Lynn so I think she was one of Kay Lynn's acquaintances. Server was back! Thank you, auntie. I salute thee.

In the meantime, as there were 18 people before me, we gave each other pop quizzes. We had quite some fun doing so because most of the test-accepted answers to questions are of no logical bases. Also there were many terms that we don't understand but memorised them regardless. Like what the heck is "injak brek" or "suis pencucuhan"?

1540 hour
Yes my turn at last! I che'd at the mostly ridiculous questions; finished it all in 15 minutes; spent 5 minutes checking (shouldn't check at all). No wonder there're so many mat rempit in Malaysia. Some questions even repeated twice! Luckily I'm smart enough to not study in earnest for the test.

Of course, I passed. Now I'm an 'L' licence holder =)

1545 hour
Went home. Dropped dead on bed. Didn't even border to bathe.

End.

Price paid: RM50 for registration, RM 55 for booklets and course, RM20 for licence photo
Time wasted: 5 hours listening to rubbish-talking instructors, 6 hours plus waiting like a god-forsaken bitch at Rilek (blame JPJ's oh so great server), 3 hours preparing for test (assume I didn't watch TotA)

I'm not done yet. I still have to pay an additional fee of RM350 for more shit (using my mom's money) and spend another 6 hours listening to again more shit. Why must there be so many jerk offs' shit in Malaysia?!